Student nurses reveal their most disgusting work stories
If you ever thought about getting into nursing, these horror stories from student nurses might make you reconsider.
- On my first day on my first placement as a student nurse, I was looking after a dementia patient, and no one told me he had a fake eye. I was horrified when he pulled his eye out of its socket and rolled it down the corridor. I went running after it to give it back to him… he washed it in his orange juice and put it back in his socket while I stood there in surprise.
- I trained as a midwife. I was once performing a vaginal examination on a client at the exact moment her membranes ruptured (waters broke). It was like a log flume, my clothes were soaked through – right down to my underwear! I had to change into some highly attractive paper pants we give to women postnatally.
- I answered a call bell pressed by a patient I had assisted onto a commode thinking he was finished, instead he said he needed some help and asked me to massage his poo out for him.
- An elderly gentleman asked me for a wash bowl and a razor. I thought this was pretty weird as he didn’t have any facial hair but gave him it anyway. A few minutes later I popped my head in to ask if everything was okay and to my horror he had one knee up to his shoulder and was shaving his balls. He just carried on and started a conversation like it was nothing.
- I was looking after a child who had been putting push pins into a nerf gun and using it to pop balloons. I guess one of the pins got stuck so he turned it round to look down the barrel and… Yeah. Pin in the eye.
- My maternity professor HATED me so I didn’t see a single birth that entire rotation…but I did “get” to assist on seven, that’s right, seven circumcisions! When you spend five weeks just watching tiny penises getting clipped and holding screaming infants, it really takes the wind out of your sails. The highlight of that rotation was when one of my male classmates came in to watch and fainted, just went out cold. I had to think fast and secure the baby and somehow catch my classmate before he smashed his skull on one of the bassinets. Good times.
- I was on ward round on a urology ward. They doctor told me prior to going into a patients room that the patient had a hydrocele (sack of fluid that firms around the testicular area). I had no idea what this was but nodded along politely and went into the room. The patient whips his pants down without a being prompted and revealed that I can only describe as a space hopper between his legs. I was in stunned silence and don’t know where to look. Reminded me of Randy Marsh in that South Park episode!
- There was a physio on the ward and doing exercises with a patient; specifically squats and this lady just took a massive dump in the middle of the ward. All the other patients got up and left the ward space.
Pretty horrendous right? I'll stick to my desk job thanks.
