Doctors describe their most revolting work stories
Seeing as Doctors have a hippocratic oath, you'll rarely find any willing to divulge their most gruesome and revolting stores. After all, they're professionals right? Well, unless they just so happen to be on Reddit where they are totally anonymous, then they can't keep their mouth shut. One guy recently asks all the doctors of Reddit what their worst patient was, and the stories didn't disappoint.
We had one patient who needed a simple smear test. The problem was she was a nymphomaniac and was riddled with STDs and could not stop having sex long enough for us to get a smear.
For those who don't know, it is preferred that the person refrain from having unprotected sex for three days prior to the smear in order to not have someone else's cells contaminating your results. She could not go even one day without having unprotected sex. We finally just had to tell her there is nothing else we could do if she couldn't stop having sex long enough to not mess up her results.
Story from med school -
Helping change dressings on a Fournier's gangrene patient. The 'shit lake.' So sometimes patients have complications from resection of part of their large intestine. One of these is called an enterocutaneous fistula. That's a communication between the inside of your intestine and your skin. This patient had that, but into a dehisced (surgical wound that ruptures along the suture line) vertical abdominal incision about 10 cm long. A lake of putrid smelling combination of edema fluid, pus, and liquid feces would pool up in there.
The first patient I ever saw in the hospital was someone with AIDS and a recto-vaginal fistula. Really awful.
On the plus side, there's an awesome sludge metal band called Fistula.
This mid twenties prick broke his jaw getting in a bar fight. Told him that smoking is not good but especially not good with a fracture. The little shit snuck cigarettes into his room and smoked them anyhow. In the hospital. Then denied it and when finally admitting to it he threw the pack into the nurse's face.
Mandibular fractures like his also require you to have clear foods both before and after the jaw is wired shut. If not, food particles can get into the bone causing infection or necrosis. Despite having this explained multiple times he would constantly bitch at how we were starving him. He actually asked "but can't i put some McDonald's into a blender and drink it?!" It really highlighted his classiness.
Then when it came time for surgery we had to wire his jaw shut and nasally intubate him. We gave him some numbing lube first because it isn't comfortable. Obviously lube down your nose isn't great either but it is tolerable. Apparently not for him though. "You're a fucking dick!" ....sigh. And to top it off he had a tattoo above his pubes insinuating a large johnson. It was anything but (we had to put a catheter in his bladder).
Anyhow. Major prick. Felt bad for his mom who was embarrassed and continuously apologized for her shitty son.
But I have seen one sweet, old lady with a compete vaginal prolapse. It looked like an inside out sock. But pink and fleshy.
Had another who came in and was complaining of a 'protrusion from her vagina that was just getting worse'. She undressed for the exam and when the doctor moved the sheet, her prolapsed uterus and vagina were just sitting on the table.
I about busted out laughing when the doctor says, "Well, there it is."
My dad, a retired urologist, once had a guy come in with gangrene of the penis. I went to his office several days after and they still had all the doors open and fans up and down the hall going full blast.
Some lovely stories there. That one about the inside out sock made me a tad queasy.
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