You've probably seen that Barclays ad by now, the one with Alan Shearer getting all nostalgic about childhood Satudays in the Gallowgate before surprising some 'lucky' fans with a couple of free tickets.
Trouble is, St James' in 2015 is pretty much just a series of Sports Direct and Wonga billboards, the team have lost seven in a row, fans are boycotting games and relegation looks more and more likely with every passing week. It all sounds thoroughly rubbish.
So if he does happen to show up at your gaff, send him on his way.