Sales of human piss skyrocket as workplaces insist on mandatory drug testing
Thankfully I work in a job that doesn’t need to drug test me but if you’re unlucky to work in a field that involves mandatory piss-tests, but you also like to get high, there’s a way around it - to buy clean piss online!
If you like to dabble in a spot of recreational drug use at the weekend but are scared your office will find out when your test results come in, just buy some clean wee wee. It’s piss easy! Here’s what one anonymous weed smoker from Coventry had to say about it:
Quote:I smoke weed all of the the time and I get tested every three months and cannot take the risk of failing. So I buy my neighbour’s urine, she is about 60-years-old and has never touched a drug in her life. I give her £5 for a litre milk bottle’s worth and keep it in the fridge at home.
I went online and bought a heat pouch which warms the urine up ready for my test so it is the right temperature. Before I had my pouch I had a few accidents trying to strap bottles of piss to my thigh, but not anymore.
I’ve heard of synthetic penises that are manufactured just for this purpose and I’m thinking about investing in one
Until now, I never knew synthetic penises were a thing. At the price of £106 a pop, they are becoming increasingly popular as a way of passing urine tests.
I suppose 106 quid is cheap in comparison to what you’ll lose if your boss finds out there are drugs in your system. Drug testing in the workplace is still fairly uncommon in the UK but it's pretty rife in America. In fact 18 states in America have banned the sale of urine because it’s becoming such a huge problem. Damn, it’s a shame my piss isn’t clean or I would be flogging it and making some bank.
