Study reveals how many dumps you should be taking per day

According to a recent study by Gastroenterologist Dr Reshma Rakshit (Rakshit? Ha) a healthy adult should be plopping it out anywhere between one and three times a day.



Dr Rakshit says that the consistency of the plops should be nice and firm and retain their shape and not be oozy or runny. Well this is a lovely discussion to have on a Thursday afternoon.



Dr Rakshit says that in order to have healthy turds you need to cut down on excessive boozing as we all know that can give us a serious case of the squits. She also asks people to watch their stress and anxiety levels as this can also effect our stools. On the other end of the shitty spectrum, there are many people who go days without taking a dump and to you poor fuckers, have some fibre and drink some water. If after changing your diet you still can't plop, go and see you GP.

I was hungry before writing this but funnily enough I'm not anymore.